‘Help, I am married to a bully!’ (2)

I started screaming and fortunately, Charly, who had come to visit us rushed to our bedroom. He pulled me away from Andy and started yelling at him, “Andy, stop it, stop it. Real men don’t hit a woman no matter what she does. She is your wife and not your punching bag. When did you turn a bully? Stop this madness.”

 Andy looked at Charly his younger brother, pushed him aside and left the room. Charly patted me and assured that all will be well. “Celestina, why was he beating you? What did you do?” Charly asked. “Your brother beat me up because I told him I was pregnant. He said the baby is not his,” I said, sobbing. “What is wrong with my brother? He has changed so much,” he retorted. Immediately I started bleeding. “Look Charly I am bleeding. I think I have a miscarriage,” I cried. Charly immediately carried me to the car and called out to Andy and they rushed me to the hospital. The doctor later informed us that I had lost the pregnancy. “I am sorry Celestina, but you lost the baby. What really happened?” he asked. “Doc, I fell on my stomach,” I lied to the doctor. About two hours later, Andy apologised and pleaded with me to forgive him. He also assured his brother that he would never hit me again. I spent three days in the hospital before I was discharged.

Things were normal between us for sometime before Andy went back to his vomit. I endured everything because of my son, Jnr. Four months later, I got pregnant again. One evening, I remember I was four months pregnant then, I came back home and knocked only for the housemaid to inform me through the window that Andy instructed her not to open the door for me. When I kept knocking, he came close to the door and said, “Woman you better go back to wherever you are coming from. In fact, this night you must choose between me, your job and your boyfriends.” I pleaded and cried for him to open the door but he turned a deaf ear. When he eventually opened the door 15 minutes later, this was about 9:00 p.m.; he pushed out our son, Junior, and the house help, Mary, insisting that I should leave with them. Junior was crying and I was so exhausted. However, Mary kept encouraging me. “Where do you want me to go to at this time of the night with your son and unborn child?” I asked. “Anywhere you like,” he replied.

Tired and exhausted, I still drove to my parents’ house. They were surprised to see us that late in the night. As expected, there were a series of questions from my parents, some of which I had no answers to. But the truth is that for the first time, I opened up to my mother. I was able to talk to my mother and she said, “You mean you have been going through all these and you kept it to yourself ? I thought Andy was human. Don’t worry my daughter, everything will be alright,” she assured.

That weekend, I went over to the house to talk to Andy but when I got there, to my greatest surprise, there was already a woman in our matrimonial home. When I knocked, a young lady between the ages 25 - 26 opened the door for me and asked who I was looking for. As I was about asking her who she was, Andy showed up at the door and asked me what I was doing there. “What did you come here to do?” he asked angrily. “I came so that we can talk, Andy,” I said. “I am sorry there is nothing to talk about. As you can see another woman has taken your place,” he snapped. “I can see that. Anyway, I want to collect some of my personal effects and that of my son,” I said. “No problems but you have just 20 minutes to do that,” he replied and then allowed me into the house.

Since that day, I have neither seen nor heard from Andy again. He never even called to ask after his own son, Jnr. Even when I gave birth to our daughter and personally called to inform him, he promised to come and see us in the hospital. He never showed up ever since. His parents and siblings have been very supportive. Today, our son is three years old and our daughter, Princess, is a year old. Whenever I look at my children, they give me so much joy and every reason to continue living for them.

I was in the office recently when I was informed by the receptionist that I had a visitor by the name Charly. I was so excited that Charly came to visit me after about two months of not seeing each other. However, when I asked that he be ushered into my office, who did I see? Andy. “What are you doing in my office?” I enquired. Without giving him a chance to explain himself I walked him out of my office and warned him never to show up anywhere for me again.

He has been calling and showing up at my parents’ home for a while now with the story that he wants his family back. They are quick to tell him that the only person who can determine that is me. Funnily, he has refused to get off my back. These days, he calls me almost every 30 minutes. But I don’t bother to pick his call. He has also been bombarding my phone with text messages and apologising for the way he treated me and my children. I have refused to respond to any of them either.

On investigation, I learnt that Andy lost his job because the woman who he felt was better than me, stole a huge amount of money meant for his official work and fled. The management of the organisation felt he had defrauded the company. He was consequently sacked. He was made to pay a certain amount of the money every month. Nevertheless, I sympathise with him. But what can I do? Andy turned me into his punching bag all because of that woman. I guess he felt that because he was cheating on me, I was doing the same as well. I never would have imagined Andy will cheat on me, much less bringing a woman into our matrimonial home because of how much we loved each other.

I got married at the age of 25 to Andy. A very handsome and caring man, he was then 27. He was loved by all the members of my family. His family too loved me so much too, especially his father. We met in my final year as a Mass Communication undergraduate at the University of Lagos. We got married immediately after our youth service with the support of our parents.

All my life I have wanted to become a television or radio presenter. However, when I was unable to get a job in any television or radio house, by a stroke of luck I got a job in one of the media houses. I was so excited because I loved writing even though at the beginning, it was a bit difficult. But because I had the passion for what I was doing, I learnt quickly with the help of some senior colleagues. Andy got a job in an engineering firm. In fact, we got our jobs on the same day and we celebrated that evening at home.

I had been married for three years but I had only enjoyed my marriage for a year. Knowing how tedious the job of a journalist could be some of the time, most times I get home late and he never complained. I don’t know what happened to Andy, the darling husband I married but what I know is that his attitude changed six months after the birth of our son, Junior. We used to be a very happy couple. Sometimes, he even helped in giving me story ideas to work on. In fact, at weekends we attended events together, especially when I was pregnant because he’d tell me he does not want me to get stressed up driving to and fro late at night. Suddenly, all that changed, just overnight.

As much as I still love Andy and want my family back together because of my children, how am I sure he has truly changed? How am I sure I will not be going back to the hell I call marriage? Is he coming back after a year because he has lost his job and in debt and feels I can help him out? The least I would wish is to see my children, especially Junior, watch his father beat me and think it is morally right to hit a woman. Please, advise me. What do I do?