‘The first and last time I saw my father he was dead because my mother lied about him’

 All my life when it comes to the family, I knew only my mother and Aunty Joyce. They are the two most important people in my life. I never knew nor felt the love of a father. My mother told me my father died long before I was born. But that story changed in less than five minutes. One evening, I had just returned from work and saw my mother watching the 7 p.m. news.

As is the ritual, I went straight to her, hugged and pecked at her. But I noticed tears dripping down her eyes after the newscaster announced the obituary of one Managing Director of a company. “Mom, why are you crying? Do you know the man?” I questioned. “Yes, I used to know him some years back. My son you would not understand,” she told me. I tried to console her, however, when she was a bit calm, I left her to take a shower and also eat my dinner. About an hour later, she insisted on having a talk with me.

“Tola my son, I think it is time to tell you the truth. Do you know why I cried when I saw that man’s obituary? That man is your father,” she stressed. “What did I hear you say? I thought you said my father died long before I was born,” I retorted. “Yes my dear. What I meant was that he died in my life because he rejected you when I was pregnant with you. Because of him, my family rejected, humiliated and sent me packing and I vowed that he would never set his eyes on you,” she revealed.

“But mummy, you should have told me this instead of lying to me that he was dead,” I emphasised. “Don’t judge me, my son. After you hear what happened, then, you can. But please hear me out first,” she pleaded. This was what my mother told me. “I met your father, Niran, a young graduate then in Ibadan while leaving with a family as a house help, I was just 17 years old. Niran came to visit the family with whom I was staying and from there, we got attracted to each other. I was a house help not because I wanted to but because my parents were so poor to further my education but I was determined to be educated.

So, I worked for this family where I was paid at the end of every month. I was a pretty young girl so I wasn’t surprised when Niran showed his liking for me. I liked him so much too. He was handsome, charming, caring and domesticated. Sometimes, when my employers are not at home and he is home and less busy, he helps me out with some of the household chores. This even made me like him the more. However, he never asked me to date him but the attraction was there and so strong.

One Saturday morning, Niran was sick so he could not follow the family to the wedding they were supposed to attend. So, I had to do my chores and also check up on Niran intermittently as instructed. After preparing lunch, I went to his room to inform him that lunch was served and that was when it happened. “Your lunch is served. You need to eat and take your afternoon drugs,” I told him. He just lay on the bed staring at me and signalling that I should come closer. I went closer to the bed and before we both knew what was happening, the deed was done.

Your father disvirgned me and I never knew any other man after him. By the time we made love thrice, I got pregnant. I didn’t even know I was pregnant; it was my madam who said one morning, “Theresa, you are adding weight and looking lighter too. What is happening?” I told her nothing that I was alright. But incidentally, she caught me vomiting the next morning and demanded that I go for pregnancy test which I did.

The result was positive, that was the beginning of my predicament. “Theresa, I am very disappointed in you. Who is responsible for your pregnancy?” she asked. “Madam, it is Niran,” I replied. When he was asked, to my shock, he said he was not the one. “How can I descend so low as to sleep with a common house help? You better tell them the truth,” he said.

My madam took me to my parents and told them the situation on ground. She told them to take back their daughter as they could not cater for a pregnant woman. My father was so heartbroken; he drove me out of the house and warned that if I must return home, it must never be with the bastard in my womb. Of course, because of the love I had for your father, Niran, I refused to harm you despite all the rejection and humiliation I went through.

While wandering away on the street, I met Joyce who took me in as a sister and cared for me until I gave birth to you. Since your father rejected you, I gave you my father’s surname. Joyce made sure that I went to school as desired. When you were over a year old, Joyce paid my way through my part-time school which I attended only at weekends while I worked throughout the week. We took you to a day care centre near the house during the week while Joyce took care of you at weekends when I go to for my lectures.

Although, when you were five years old, I ran into Niran once at an eatery. In fact, he pretended not to know me even when I was kind enough to greet him and made efforts to talk with him. He openly disgraced me. That was the day I vowed that Niran will never set his eyes on you. That is why I worked so hard to make sure that you lacked nothing. You are 25 years old now, Tola, have you ever seen me with any man? You are the only man in my life,” she said. She told me that seeing his obituary made her feel guilty that I never got to meet my father. I felt so pained and empty. “You have narrated what happened.

Mother, please can we pay him our last respects by going for his funeral?” I pleaded. “I am sorry Tola, I can’t. But if you want to do so, I will not stop you,” she replied. Finally, Aunty Joyce volunteered to go with me. “Can you imagine the first and last time I saw my father he was dead and laid in a beautiful casket. He looked handsome and I could see the striking resemblance.”

Although a few people approached me to ask if he was my father and I simply said, “I am the son he rejected 25 years ago.” I cried like a baby while Aunty Joyce comforted me. The most painful part is that I learnt at the funeral that he has four girls and no son. Right now, my relationship with my mother is a bit strained because I blame her for lying to me all these years about my father. It would have been better if she told me this story earlier and allowed me make the decision of either looking for him or ignoring him. However, how I wish he knew me as his son. This is so painful.