My name is Cordelia. I have only one child, a beautiful daughter, Natasha, who I love so much. Her father died when she was just two years old and I have been both mother and father to her. We were so close until recently when I destroyed not only her happiness but her joy of being a mother.
After Natasha’s father died and his family took over all his property, I vowed to make it in life so that I can take good care of my daughter. Shortly after his death, my friend, Julie, introduced me to the wine business. She also connected me to some top men and women from who I could get contract to supply cartons of assorted wines whenever there was a major party anywhere in the country. In no time, I had opened my wine shop in about four states including Abuja.
Moments later I started mingling with the high and mighty in the society and my social status changed. I also initiated Natasha into the social circle. I sounded it severally to her that she must only socialise with the rich and mighty. That way, she will maintain her social status. She listened to me and also did whatever I asked her to do. All her friends throughout secondary school and the university were children from wealthy homes. I was proud of my daughter.
As Natasha grew into a beautiful, young lady, I initiated her into the pure social circle where I introduced her to some of my core male customers such as alhajis, businessmen, senators and others. I never allowed her to go near just any man or men. I allowed her travel with these rich men to wherever they desired as long as she brings some good money for me to plough back into my business.
As she mature into a woman, young men started coming close to her for serious relationships but she chased them all away because they do not belong to the same social status as her. Whenever any of these guys approaches her for friendship and she refuses but he keeps disturbing her, she would invite him to the house and then begin to ask some embarrassing questions that he cannot answer such as, “What kind of car do you drive? When was the last time you travelled out of the country? How many countries have you travelled to? How much do you have in your account and so on?” The man would immediately look so blank, surprised and embarrassed unable to answer any of the questions. Once this happens, Natasha will then order him to get out of the house and we will start laughing and making mockery of him. We have done this severally.
Funnily even when men who had nothing but truly loves Natasha approaches her for serious relationships, I chased them away reminding her that she should remember the class of people she must associate with. She eventually fell in love with Chuks, a handsome young man who truly loves her and was willing to do anything excluding stealing to be comfortable enough. I frustrated all his efforts.
To show that she truly loves Chuks despite not belonging to our class, Natasha helped him get a job. She told me, “Chuks may not belong to our social status but he has a bright future. I love him and I want to give him a chance”. “Natasha dear, you cannot give him any chance. Love without money and influence is nothing,” I emphasised.
I saw the love in her eyes for Chuks and this really got me angry. The worst part was that she stopped seeing all those wealthy men with whom she spent time with and also travelled in and outside the country with. Natasha also stopped partying, clubbing and dressing the way she used to. She became a different person all because of Chuks. This made us fall apart; we began to quarrel over trivial issues. We started living like total strangers as well.
I wanted her to marry Clifford, the son of an ambassador, but she told me she will never marry him because she has found true love. I tried all I could to convince her but she warned me not to waste my precious time as her heart belongs to Chuks. “Mother whether Clifford is an ambassador’s son or not I don’t care. Please stop disturbing me with this issue. I love Chuks and that is final,” she retorted. “It is Clifford or no man. Think about it,” I warned her.
A week later, on a Wednesday morning, Natasha walked into my room and announced, “Well, mother I am pregnant for Chuks. I just confirmed it yesterday. I hope you will leave us alone now?” I was so upset that I yelled, “Pregnant for a nobody? That will be over my dead body. You must abort this bastard you are carrying.” “Mother I am sorry I cannot abort this pregnancy. Don’t you know how many abortions I have carried out? Mother five, remember? Don’t you want to be a grandmother?” she questioned. I told her I don’t care if she has committed 20 abortions but this one must go. She angrily walked out of my room.
Thirty minutes later, she told me she was going to visit Chuks. However, she did not return home that day and the next. I decided to visit her at Chuks’ apartment. Nevertheless, before I went to see her, I visited a doctor friend of mine and lied to her that I was pregnant. I pleaded with her to prescribe any drug that would push out the pregnancy without necessarily having to go through a D & C because of my age. She gave me the drug but reluctantly. I went to a roadside canteen and used a spoon to grind the drugs into powder form before heading to see her.
When I got there, Natasha was home alone. She did not even want to see me but I apologised profusely and asked for her forgiveness. She served me a chilled pack of juice and also poured some into another glass for herself. I needed to put the drug into her juice, so I pretended I wanted to drink water just to make her leave. Immediately she got up, I quickly poured the drug into her glass of juice and shook it thoroughly. She even stayed longer than I expected that I thought something was wrong with her. When she returned, she told me she was pressed and had to use the toilet.
After the deed was done and she drank the juice in my presence, I told her I had to hurry off to see an important client. Natasha promised to come home immediately Chuks returned home and I left. About an hour later, Chuks phoned to inform me that Natasha was rushed to the hospital because of excessive bleeding. I was so excited that she has finally lost the pregnancy. I rushed to the hospital and pretended to be really worried and concerned. “Chuks, what happened? What did the doctor say is wrong with my daughter?” I sobbed. “I don’t know, ma. I rushed her here because she was bleeding excessively. You need to sign some documents because the doctor said she needs immediate surgery,” Chuks said.
Just then the doctor came and told us they will be rolling her into the theatre in five minutes. He advised that I sign all the necessary papers and make the initial deposits. I assured him that all that will be done. “Doctor, what is wrong with her?” I asked. “She tried to commit an abortion. We need to stop the bleeding,” he said. I watched as my daughter was rolled into the theatre without knowing the extent of damage I had done to her womb and life as a whole.
After the surgery, the doctor informed me that Natasha’s womb has been damaged because whatever drug she took was too strong for her system. When she gained consciousness and I asked her why she tried to commit an abortion, she told me she did not. “Mother, how can I abort my own baby? I did not. There must be a mistake somewhere,” she cried. The doctor told her in the presence of Chuks and I that her womb had been damaged so she should forget ever being a mother. There and then, I felt so guilty but it is too late, the harm has already been done. I have used social status to destroy my only child, now I cannot even be a grandmother. But can I ever tell her I was the one that caused her barrenness? If she finds out, will she ever forgive me? What kind of mother will she think of me? My heart is so heavy. What do I do?
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