Pretty and eloquent Uwa Odefa is not a woman to be pushed around. An iconoclast, though her dream was to become a newscaster or an actress, today with her charity group, The Girlfriends Nigeria, she found herself helping women and the girl-child, a passion that rubbed off on her because of her late father’s legacies. In this interview with us she talked about politics, style, her major achievement and other issues.
Background
I am from Eboniyi State and I come from a family of seven children. My father was a political godfather as it were and I grew up in the political circle. He is late, but he has left a lot of legacies that have made me who I am today.
Predominantly, my empathy for the less privileged and physically challenged in our communities I got from him because he was someone who had lots of adopted children whom he took care of and all that sort of rubbed off on me. I’d like to be seen as that which is why I am doing most of what I am doing especially with the charity group I started called, ‘The Girlfriends Nigeria’.
What is the Girlfriends Nigeria about?
Currently, it is an informal group of young and old women from different aspects of the society who just have a passion for helping other women because we have seen that there is a disconnect among women. A lot of people say if only women are more united they would rule the world, so we are trying to create a platform where that can happen and it is not just about taking over the world per se but it is also about helping and supporting one another. So our focus is women and the girl child.
Does it also involve handling cases that have to do with violence against women?
Not specifically but because violence affects women, it will take it up. So we deal with violence against women, to education, fashion and style, cooking, taking care of your home and the family to everything that affects a woman.
What was the motivation?
I would say having friends who come up to me to say I have this or that challenge and you can see that the only reason that person is facing that, be it in the workplace or at home or wherever, is because they are females. You would find people who say to me, my father won’t pay school fees because I am female, women being pressured to do ordinarily what they would not do and because they don’t have anyone to help or support them and let them know they can stand up for themselves and not accept the fact that you are a mediocre or a second class citizen. But a human being in your own right and should have all the benefits accruable to the next person.
What would you say is the greatest achievement of the Girlfriend Nigeria so far?
For me, I would say it would be when we had the seminar on violence against women, last year November. Generally in Nigeria women don’t talk when they are abused, especially not in public because you are meant to feel that it is your fault, it is your problem and it is disgraceful so don’t talk about it. Meanwhile, you are the victim so you should be shouting from the roof top that this is happening to you so that people would sit up and take notice.
When I was trying to organise that seminar, a lot of people told me no one would ever talk. But it was supposed to be an avenue for women who are in the situation to talk about it. People who have been through that situation and came out successfully to talk about how they did it so that they could also help people who are in the situation and figure out how to get out of it. And also for people who have never experienced it, to know that violence against women happens and it could happen to anybody. There is no law that says it could only happen to a particular set of people, so long as you are female, it could happen to you.
In that seminar, three women told us stories that were so shocking. It was like watching Nollywood. And for me, the satisfaction of that seminar was when the people who spoke said they feel better for talking about it and that it has even made them see the situation clearly and that they would be willing to talk more about it. For some, it was the first time they were talking about it in public.
One of them is a personal friend and until we had that seminar, I never knew she went through domestic violence for four years. For four years, I knew her as a vibrant, young woman who never had any issues, so she was living two lives. Fortunately she had mentors who supported her or else she would have broken down during that period. So that for me is a major achievement.
Some people blame the clergy for women keeping quiet when they are going through domestic violence because they are advised to go back to their husbands because the Bible and Quran do not support divorce. What do you have to say about this?
It is crap as far as I am concerned. We all have our contributions to the problem. Even the women who are receiving the beating at home also have their own share of the responsibility. You are a human being; you should have the natural survival instinct. Why would you stay where you are about to be killed and say it is the church that said you should stay? That means if the pastor says you should stick your finger into the fire, you would because it is the pastor telling you. You have access to the Bible and Quran, read them. There is no where it is written that you have to stay in a violent relationship where your life is at stake. As far as I am concerned, when you stay in a violent relationship and you are killed there, you have committed suicide and with suicide, you won’t get into heaven.
The fact is that we all have our own roles to play, the victims, and the families of the victims who watch and see this happening and say oh let’s reconcile. For me, the first thing to do is pull the victim out of the situation and then look for a solution to the problem. First, let us protect the value of life that is the most important thing.
Your late father was a politician, do you ever think of going into politics?
Not as it stands in Nigeria now. Maybe in Lagos State because it seems pretty clean and fair and they listen to what you really have to offer. That is my perception but not in other states, especially not in my state as it is now and I can say that anywhere.
Why not in your state?
There is no equal opportunity there for women as at today that we speak; maybe tomorrow it would change. If it does change I would be interested because it is an opportunity to help more people and proffer policies that would continue to help people.
You appear to be a stern person. Who is Uwa Odefa?
First of all, I am a very stubborn and eccentric person. People think I am odd and I like that. I don’t like to go with the flow especially when the flow is leading me in a direction I don’t want to go or that I think is wrong. I have values that I would do anything to maintain, I refuse to be boxed into a corner, and I refuse to be labeled. I think I am the kind of person you need to experience to figure out who I am.
You are a fashionable woman. What is your style secret?
I just wear what looks good, not just good but interesting and something that makes people stop and look. It is really not about conforming to the trends because I may not wear what is fashionable especially if it does not fit my body type. I don’t believe in going with the fashion trend just because some star is dressed like that. I try to have my own unique style and I don’t do labels so long as the quality is good and it fits me.
What is that clothing item you won’t be caught dead in?
I won’t be caught dead in skin jeans because it doesn’t look good on me.
What is that fashion item you cannot do without?
I will say chunky wristwatches because they look more masculine. Up until a few years ago, I even used to stick to men’s perfume.
What were those childhood dreams you had when growing up?
I wanted to be first of all a newscaster and presenter; secondly I wanted to be an actress.
So why didn’t you follow those dreams?
Up until university, I was still into acting. I belonged to a theatre group in school and even in church. But after school when I really would have actively pursued the acting career, there was a lot of negative feedbacks like you would have to sleep with directors, actors; and actresses are not taken seriously and I am not someone who would not want to be taken seriously. If it was what it is now, I probably would have gone into it. I think it is a bit more serious now. The artistes are contributing a lot to the community and their environment.
And what about news-casting and presenting?
Well, I tried to get in to study Mass Communication but when I couldn’t I just let it go. I know now that that is not a handicap. Eventually, I intend to have a programme or two on television that I would anchor.
What are your hobbies?
I have very odd hobbies. I have an orange belt in karate so I am a very physical person. I like to walk out, I do aerobics and karate. Right now I am in middle of learning how to ride a power bike. I also like to read, write and talk.
Who is your role model?
I would say Mrs. Josephine Effah-Chukwuma, I admire what she is doing. She has dedicated her life to women that are abused and for the most part, I think it is a thankless job, so you have to be really passionate about it. It must be a calling and I think that is what it is for her, otherwise she would have given up years ago. The strength with which she continues to do it and her job is something that can be very demoralising. I mean you see the worst of humanity everyday and you still have the will to go on and to believe the best in people. That takes a lot so she is one of my major role models.
What is the best decision you have made so far in life?
I would say the decision to be more involved with my immediate environment. To open myself because they say you are not really living a full life when you haven’t impacted on those around you. And for me, it brings a lot of satisfaction. I am happy that I can give even if it is not something tangible but I can give of myself.
Everybody has one fear or the other. What is your greatest fear in life?
My greatest fear is that I will die and no one would notice. I want that when I die, people will say oh somebody died, not just my family. My family will say somebody died because they have known me for years but strangers would say ‘oh somebody died’. So, my greatest fear is dying unknown or unacknowledged.
What advice would you give to single ladies who are scared to get married because they see their father beat up their mother?
I would say that is not a good reason to be scared of marriage because there are people who never saw their father hit their mother yet they hit women. All you need to do is open your eyes wide, think with your head as well as your heart. There are certain attitudes and traits that a young man would display that tells you this man is going to be the kind that would lash out physically even if it is not physically but who would lash out.
How many times in a year do you organise seminars for these women?
It is not just seminars; we just find activities around things that help women. We actually try to do it once a month but each month, we target something different. For instance, some time ago, we had a cookery class encouraging women to learn how to cook different dishes so that there is variety in the home; keep their husband and children interested in eating healthy meal. We are planning a make-up section to encourage women to experiment with make-up, look and feel good about themselves. It is not only going to be make-up but a total wellness package and lots more.
What is your favourite piece of clothing item?
Up until a few years ago, I would have said jeans trousers but now I have shed part of the tom boy image, so I like fitted knee length skirts.
What makes your day?
When someone shows some appreciation for something I did, it makes my day.
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